Trying to be liked is hurting your enrolment numbers

Stop Trying to Be ‘Liked’ in Student Recruitment—It’s Hurting Your Results

Let’s face it: it feels great to be liked. Smiles, nods of agreement, and friendly banter—who doesn’t want to be seen as the pleasant, agreeable person in the room? But here’s the thing: when you’re focusing too much on being liked, it could actually be working against you in student recruitment and admissions roles.

I’ve seen it happen time and again. Admissions teams and marketing staff trying so hard to be everyone’s best friend that they end up avoiding tough conversations or hesitating to make honest recommendations. The result? Sure, people might like you, but they won’t necessarily trust you to help them make the best decisions for their needs. In the long run, this can lead to mismatched placements, unhappy families, and missed opportunities to enrol more students.

The Likeability Trap

We’ve all fallen into the likeability trap at some point. You go out of your way to accommodate requests that push you beyond your capacity. Or, worse, your team's capacity. You say yes to agents’ demands for higher commissions, even if it’s squeezing your margins dry. Or you avoid challenging a family’s unrealistic expectations because you don’t want to be the ‘bad guy.’

But being too focused on likeability often means you become almost subservient, needy, and less willing to ask challenging questions. You end up prioritising keeping people happy over delivering real value or making a much-needed margin. And here’s the kicker: when you do that, people might think you’re nice, but they won’t necessarily see you as the go-to person who can truly help them.

Respect Over Likeability

The goal shouldn’t be to be liked; it should be to be respected and trusted. Respect comes from being reliable, knowledgeable, and honest—even if it means saying things people might not want to hear. If you want to enrol more students and build stronger partnerships with education agents, it’s crucial to move away from worrying about whether everyone likes you and start focusing on building respect.

Case in Point: How Likeability Affects Decision-Making

Take a story from one admissions officer I worked with. He was great at building rapport, everybody's friend. But he often found himself 'over selling' to keep the agent happy. The agent wasn't aware until the family reached him on the phone, upset. As a result, that agent now sends his groups elsewhere.

Another representative was a gregarious character - you've probably all met him - super charming and just lovely, I'm a big fan, in fact. However, when it comes to detail and following-through he's not such a hero, leaving his team in a bit of a mess cleaning up behind his promises. A loveable rogue, he got the sales in, but at the cost of his team's sanity!

We all like to be liked. It's human nature. But we need boundaries if we are to be professional. It’s about setting boundaries, offering honest advice, and making decisions that benefit the student and the school in the long run.

Here are five easy ways to shift from being ‘liked’ to being ‘respected if you're worried that your Labrador puppy tendencies are peeping out! 

Five Ways to Shift From Being Liked to Being Respected

1. Ask Hard Questions: Challenge families’ or agent's preconceived notions. “What is stopping you from going ahead?” “Is that the best for you/your child long term?”
2. Say No When Necessary: Don’t agree to everything. If a commission rate or programme request isn’t viable, explain why it won’t work and offer an alternative.
3. Be Honest About Drawbacks: If a school or programme has drawbacks that may affect the student’s experience, be upfront about it. Transparency builds trust.
4. Stand Your Ground on Your Expertise: Share your knowledge confidently, even if it means suggesting something different from what the family or agent expects.
5. Focus on Solutions, Not Pleasing People: Position yourself as someone who can solve problems, not just someone who makes everyone feel good. If your agent claims they cannot sell at your prices, show them how to, support them, give them solid ways to make more commission on your higher prices!

It’s time to step out of the likeability trap and start aiming for something more powerful: respect. When you’re honest, upfront, and focused on what’s best, you build long-lasting relationships that go beyond smiles and handshakes. And that’s what will help you enrol more students and become a true asset in your field.

If you’d like to meet with Nicola Lutz to discuss working on your ‘sales’ in education, just click this link
https://calendly.com/nicolalutz/chat-with-nicola-lutz-blog